Originally I wrote this post in 2010 after
coming home from Photoshop world conference, I have since learned some things
and I wanted to update my suggestions for those of us who don't exactly love
getting out there and working a room.
I still have my own little brand of social avoidance. I love people, I love
to get involved in their lives and make strong friendships- I'm just not a huge
fan of talking to strangers and I especially do not enjoying being the first
one to strike up a conversation. While I think this is a rather common trait I
am still trying to over come. Fellow photographers seem to still represent a
much greater mental obstacle than clients.
Here are my updated suggestions!
1) Fake it til you make it!
I'm leading off with the most painful of my suggestions. Grit you teeth, get a
good antiperspirant, and hold something so they can't see you shaking and just
go talk to people.
2) Stay positive.
I seem to inevitably say something totally retarded when meeting new people but
try your best to just keep smiling. Do retract any outrageous statements but
don’t dwell on it. Don't put yourself down- that's not humility, its self deprecation.
Also no one likes a whiner try to always lead off with positive things.
3) Bring a friend or "wing man"
If you already have a buddy who fits in the atmosphere bring them along- as you
meet people introduce each other. This also avoids the awkward standing in the
corner by yourself feeling. Often I socialize with my husband and much to my
horror he will start telling people what I do- after the initial discomfort wears
off though I've struck up good conversations and made connections. So go ahead
and cling to the social butterflies maybe it will rub off a bit.
4) Be a good listener.
Most people would rather talk about themselves than hear about you. So ask a
simple question like, “What upcoming projects are you excited about?" Also
people love to hear their own names so use it during the conversation- it may initially
feel strange but especially at the end of a conversation it lets people know
you were listening. Furthermore if you say their name you are more likely to
remember it later.
5) Have good business cards and USE them
It's great to make a contact but it will only last if you can contact them
again. Enter business cards! And no need for some covert secret handshake or
slip-it-into-their-pocket-like-a-thief-in-the-night action to give them out say
something like, "I've really enjoyed chatting with you, I'd love it if you
could email me a link about that camera you were talking about" and hand
them your card. You get bonus points for getting other peoples cards too- go
ahead and ask. I don’t think there is anything cool about waiting to contact
people either- it’s not a date- it’s a business interaction. Playing hard to
get is kind of silly, so the next day send those email and solidify those
contacts before you forget what was talked about.
6) Check your appearance frequently.
If there is food being served check your teeth, if you went to the washroom
check for tp on your shoe, if you decided to wear the false lashes make sure
they're not on your eyebrows. Although people might talk to you if you have
something amiss in your appearance it's likely not the kind of attention you
want to attract. I carry a purse with things like lip gloss, chewing gum,
lotion, antiperspirant, tissues, a comb and a tide pen. After finishing each
drink a make a quick pit stop at the bathroom to make sure everything is
looking the way it should. No need to stare into every mirror you see but quick
checks are good.
7) Move around the room.
I have this personal obsession with really awesome shoes (that aren't always
very practical) so I need to work on this one more too. Many people stick to
their own corners and circles, use suggestion # 9 to try and get into a new
circle of conversation.
8) Look for mentorship from and people AND to mentor others.
No matter how many years of experience, education or equipment knowledge there
is a distinct chance that someone else's work is superior to yours. The flip
side is also true. Always try to check your ego and don't make assumptions,
often at social gathering we're not carrying our portfolios around with us. I
personally feel it is safe to take the humble road and not brag about my work.
I'll talk openly and honestly about what I do but I leave the horn blowing
aside. If you are talking to someone who really seems to be blowing their own
horn politely move on- I find such egos are often not helpful for me to know
even if they are a fantastic artist.
9) Compliment others.
Most of us feel reassured and admired when someone says they like our work.
Take it even one step further and give a very specific compliment, this will be
easier if you know their work or something about them. If you haven't seen
their work compliment their attire or an attribute of their personality (I'd
avoid complimenting anything physical as to come off professionally interested,
NOT romantically)
10) Be Yourself!
Although it may seem obvious, cliché and possibly interpreted as contradicting
#1. Being yourself is also vital to the longevity of a contact. If you were so
into another character when you initially talked to a person additional contact
may leave them feeling like you have a personality disorder. While I would
discourage giving your life story to anyone, be honest and open about who you
are and what you are about. If your primary goal in the industry is to make
money to support yourself or your family don't go off on a rant on the value of
having clients become close personal friends. I find writing things down about
how I want to present myself helps me to have a professional veneer that still
lets the essence of who I really am shine.
Selling my brand online and networking in person are 2 distinct skill sets both
of which I am in the process of acquiring. If you found this post helpful or if
you have even better suggestions I would Love to hear them! So please leave a
comment :)
