Originally I wrote this post in 2010 after
coming home from Photoshop world conference, I have since learned some things
and I wanted to update my suggestions for those of us who don't exactly love
getting out there and working a room.
Here are my updated suggestions!
1) Fake it til you make it!
I'm leading off with the most painful of my suggestions. Grit you teeth, get a good antiperspirant, and hold something so they can't see you shaking and just go talk to people.
2) Stay positive.
I seem to inevitably say something totally retarded when meeting new people but try your best to just keep smiling. Do retract any outrageous statements but don’t dwell on it. Don't put yourself down- that's not humility, its self deprecation. Also no one likes a whiner try to always lead off with positive things.
3) Bring a friend or "wing man"
If you already have a buddy who fits in the atmosphere bring them along- as you meet people introduce each other. This also avoids the awkward standing in the corner by yourself feeling. Often I socialize with my husband and much to my horror he will start telling people what I do- after the initial discomfort wears off though I've struck up good conversations and made connections. So go ahead and cling to the social butterflies maybe it will rub off a bit.
4) Be a good listener.
Most people would rather talk about themselves than hear about you. So ask a simple question like, “What upcoming projects are you excited about?" Also people love to hear their own names so use it during the conversation- it may initially feel strange but especially at the end of a conversation it lets people know you were listening. Furthermore if you say their name you are more likely to remember it later.
5) Have good business cards and USE them
It's great to make a contact but it will only last if you can contact them again. Enter business cards! And no need for some covert secret handshake or slip-it-into-their-pocket-like-a-thief-in-the-night action to give them out say something like, "I've really enjoyed chatting with you, I'd love it if you could email me a link about that camera you were talking about" and hand them your card. You get bonus points for getting other peoples cards too- go ahead and ask. I don’t think there is anything cool about waiting to contact people either- it’s not a date- it’s a business interaction. Playing hard to get is kind of silly, so the next day send those email and solidify those contacts before you forget what was talked about.
6) Check your appearance frequently.
If there is food being served check your teeth, if you went to the washroom check for tp on your shoe, if you decided to wear the false lashes make sure they're not on your eyebrows. Although people might talk to you if you have something amiss in your appearance it's likely not the kind of attention you want to attract. I carry a purse with things like lip gloss, chewing gum, lotion, antiperspirant, tissues, a comb and a tide pen. After finishing each drink a make a quick pit stop at the bathroom to make sure everything is looking the way it should. No need to stare into every mirror you see but quick checks are good.
7) Move around the room.
I have this personal obsession with really awesome shoes (that aren't always very practical) so I need to work on this one more too. Many people stick to their own corners and circles, use suggestion # 9 to try and get into a new circle of conversation.
8) Look for mentorship from and people AND to mentor others.
No matter how many years of experience, education or equipment knowledge there is a distinct chance that someone else's work is superior to yours. The flip side is also true. Always try to check your ego and don't make assumptions, often at social gathering we're not carrying our portfolios around with us. I personally feel it is safe to take the humble road and not brag about my work. I'll talk openly and honestly about what I do but I leave the horn blowing aside. If you are talking to someone who really seems to be blowing their own horn politely move on- I find such egos are often not helpful for me to know even if they are a fantastic artist.
9) Compliment others.
Most of us feel reassured and admired when someone says they like our work. Take it even one step further and give a very specific compliment, this will be easier if you know their work or something about them. If you haven't seen their work compliment their attire or an attribute of their personality (I'd avoid complimenting anything physical as to come off professionally interested, NOT romantically)
10) Be Yourself!
Although it may seem obvious, cliché and possibly interpreted as contradicting #1. Being yourself is also vital to the longevity of a contact. If you were so into another character when you initially talked to a person additional contact may leave them feeling like you have a personality disorder. While I would discourage giving your life story to anyone, be honest and open about who you are and what you are about. If your primary goal in the industry is to make money to support yourself or your family don't go off on a rant on the value of having clients become close personal friends. I find writing things down about how I want to present myself helps me to have a professional veneer that still lets the essence of who I really am shine.
Selling my brand online and networking in person are 2 distinct skill sets both of which I am in the process of acquiring. If you found this post helpful or if you have even better suggestions I would Love to hear them! So please leave a comment :)
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