10 Networking Tips For the Shy or Sheepish

Recently I have rediscovered my own little brand of social avoidance. I love people, I love to get involved in their lives and make strong friendships- I'm just not a huge fan of talking to strangers and I especially do not enjoying being the first one to strike up a conversation. And fellow photographers seem to be a whole new bag to me than clients. After Photoshop World Conference in Vegas and a Local networking event I think I have a couple of strategies for making more connections.

1) Fake it til you make it!
I'm leading off with the most painful of my suggestions. Grit you teeth, get a good antiperspirant, hold something so they can't see you shaking and go talk to people.

2) Stay positive.
I seem to inevitably say something totally retarded when meeting new people but try your best to just keep smiling. Also no one likes a whiner try to always lead off with positive things.

3) Bring a friend or "wing man"
If you already have a buddy who fits in the atmosphere bring them along- as you meet people introduce each other. This also avoids the awkward standing in the corner by yourself feeling. Often I socialize with my husband and much to my horror he will start telling people what I do- after the initial discomfort though frequently I've struck up good conversations and actually made the connection. So go ahead and cling to the social butterflies maybe it will rub off a bit.

4) Be a good listener.
Almost everyone is self centered enough that they would rather talk about themselves then hear about you. So take a step back from your desire to let them know all about you and ask a simple question like, “What upcoming projects do you have that you're excited about?" Also people love to hear their own names so use their name as often as you can during the conversation.

5) Have good business cards and USE them
It's great to make a contact but if you're at a large event talking to several people you may not remember the important info (for example I typically remember what people look like but not their names). Enter your business card! And no need for some covert secret handshake or slip-it-into-their-pocket-like-a-thief-in-the-night action to give them out say something like, "I've really enjoyed chatting with you, I'd love it if you could email me a link about that camera you were talking about" and hand them your card. You get bonus points for getting other peoples cards too- hey here`s an idea for a light hearted joke: suggest a race for who can contact who again sooner.

6) Without appearing vain check your appearance rather frequently.
If there is food being served check your teeth, if you went to the washroom check for tp on your shoe, if you decided to wear the false lashes make sure they're not on your eyebrows but use a bathroom or be discrete in the mirror checks. Although people might talk to you if you have something amiss in your appearance it's likely not the kind of attention you want to attract. I also always rock some chewing gum and scented body lotion so that my breath is ok and any nervous BO is masked but not with an overpowering scent.

7) Move around the room.
I have this personal obsession with really awesome shoes (that aren't always very practical) so I need to work on this one more too. Many people stick to their own corners and circles, use suggestion # 9 to try and get into a new circle of conversation.

8) There will always be people to look for mentorship from and people to mentor.
No matter how many years of experience you have or the education or equipment there is a distinct chance that someone else's work is superior to yours. The flip side is also true though. No matter how many years of experience you have there will always be people who know less and whose work is frankly worse than yours. Always try to check your ego and don't make too many assumptions, often at social gathering we're not carrying our portfolios around with us. I personally feel it is safe to take the humble road and not brag about my work. I'll talk openly and honestly about what I do but I leave the horn blowing aside.

9) Compliment others.
Most of us feel reassured and admired when someone says they like our work but you can do one better if you've seen the work of who you are talking too pick one piece and give a very specific compliment. If you haven't seen their work compliment their attire or an attribute of their personality (I'd avoid complimenting anything physical as to come off professionally interested, not romantically)

10) Be Yourself!
Although somewhat obvious, cliché and possibly interpreted as contradicting #1. Being yourself is also vital to the longevity of a contact. If you were so into another character when you initially talked to a person additional contact may leave them feeling like you have a personality disorder. While I would discourage giving your life story to anyone, be honest and open about who you are and what your about. If your primary goal in the industry is to make money to support yourself or your family don't go off on a rant on the value of having clients become close personal friends. I find writing thing down about how I want to present myself helps me to have a professional veneer that still lets the essence of who I really am shine.

Selling my brand online and networking in person are 2 distinct skill sets both of which I am in the process of acquiring. If you found this post helpful or have even better suggestion I would Love to hear them! So please leave a comment :)